Who Should be a Deacon? - The Household of God - Part 9
Who Should Be A Deacon?
1 Timothy 3:8-13
Immanuel – 10/5/25
Since the beginning of chapter 2, Paul has been instructing Timothy on how to build a healthy church. There is no mention of a budget, a building, or bylaws. He’s quiet on programs and online presence. Nothing about how dynamic the worship music or the speaking prowess of the preacher. All these things we in the protestant church so fixate on, get absolutely no mention in this epistle.
These things do deserve our consideration, but they are not the essentials of a healthy church. Nor should they be the reasons any of us chose a church. Do you know what Paul has been focused on since the beginning of chapter 2 – the things that do make for a healthy church?
Prayer, the gospel, and the people.
The first order of business for a church is prayer.
First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people. -1 Timothy 2:1
Paul urges the church to be devoted to prayer because of God’s purposes in the gospel. God wants to save all; for Christ gave his life as a ransom for all and is Mediator of all. We found that in 2:2-6.
The implicit promise is that proclamation of the gospel will transform the earth. But God has ordained that prayer will pave the way for the gospel. Or, God uses prayer to till hard and rocky ground, exposing fertile soil, preparing it to receive the seeds of the gospel. We must be a people of prayer if we want this church to see the kingdom of God advance!
To build a healthy church Paul focuses on prayer and the gospel. Finally, Paul turns his attention to the people.
First Paul addresses the church at large, the congregation, and what makes them healthy.
2:8 – Men should pray and pursue holiness.
2:9-15 – Women should value modesty, seriously living and learning as disciples of Jesus.
Then Paul writes about healthy church leadership.
3:1-7 – The Elders are to oversee the church, being spiritually mature men of outstanding reputation, able to teach the Scriptures; whose home life and public life are marked by self-sacrificial love and responsible leadership.
Today we read about the next tear of church leadership: deacons. A healthy church needs deacons, and it needs its deacons to be of outstanding character.
This is important because it teaches us what it means to have a healthy church – which is all of our responsibility.
This is important because the qualification for deacons are meant to be present among every disciple of Christ.
Deacon Defined
As I did last week, before I get into the qualifications for deacons, let me first define the role.
Deacon comes from the Greek word “diakonos.” A literal translation would be “servant” or “minister.” Therefore, the first thing to understand about deacons is they are servants of the church.
The very first church was the church of Jerusalem, led by the Apostles. As the Jerusalem church grew, it didn’t take long for them to realize they needed different types of leaders. This is the first place we see church leadership broken into two tears.
Read Acts 6:1-6
The Apostles functioned as elders of the church in Jerusalem. The seven men functioned as deacons. You can clearly see serving was a fundamental role for the seven. But it is not as if the deacons were the only ones serving tables, they were responsible for facilitating the ministry.
Think about the practicalities. Something like a roster had to be made of widows with legitimate needs. Church funds had to be collected and then used to buy ingredients. Someone had to facilitate the preparation of meals. The food needed to be distributed to the widows at the right time, in the right place. (In these early days the church met exclusively in people’s homes, scattered around the city.) And we should certainly not think the seven deacons did all of this themselves. They led the Jerusalem church in the ministry of serving widows: coordinating, delegating, administrating, as well as doing some of the work themselves.
Peter and the other Apostles quickly recognized the role was so labor intensive that it would inhibit their own responsibilities to pray and teach. Thus, the role of deacon emerged; and as time passed, the role developed and was formalized. A marker of church health is elders exercising spiritual oversight and deacons facilitating service.
In Acts 6, we saw the deacons overseeing a ministry to widows; but throughout church history deacons have facilitated a host of different ministries. At Immanuel we have deacons and deaconesses who oversee a wide array of ministries.
Each one of these deacons and deaconesses oversee a ministry vital to Immanuel’s church life, with a team or even teams of people under their leadership. So much of what we do as a church would not be possible if we didn’t have these incredibly valuable leaders.
Summarizing all of this: Deacon is an official role that leads the church body in a particular area of ministry/service. Deacons are answerable to elders.
Now that we have looked at its context and definition, let’s look at our text for the qualifications of deacons.
Read vs 8
Right off the bat you can probably see that the standard for deacons is quite high, though not as high as for elders. And like with elders, this is not a comprehensive list of qualifications, it’s a highlight reel. These are the most important qualifications for deacons, though there are certainly others that Paul does not list here (like the ability to work well with others).
Like last week, let’s take these qualifications and disqualifications one at a time.
Dignified. Deacons must be dignified. The NIV renders this as “worthy of respect.” Just like the elders, deacons are to be noble, dignified, with a solid reputation. It is so important for church leadership to not just have respect, but to be worthy of that respect. They are not foolish or superficial or arrogant. Their dignity comes from a place of humility and authenticity. In other words, their character, their love for the church, and their servanthood, earn them genuine respect. They are dignified.
Not double-tongued. A double-tongued person says one thing to one person, but something different to another person. Being deceitful, cheating, slandering, gossiping: all these are ways a person can be double-tongued. A double-tongued person is a hypocrite, and how Jesus railed against hypocrites – especially in positions of spiritual leadership. They threaten the trust and stability of the church.
As Jesus said to the hypocritical Pharisees:
“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” -Matthew 12:34
Rather than hypocritical and double-tongued, a deacon must be sincere. They mean what they say, and what they say is gracious; for their heart has been transformed by grace. A deacon must not be double-tongued.
Not addicted to much wine. A deacon can enjoy wine, but they must not be addicted. Or as Paul wrote of elders, they must not be drunkards (3:3). Christ has come to rescue us from our chains, free us from our prison, and he calls all of his people to live free from addiction. How damaging would it be to the church, its health and its example, if its leaders are drunks; or if they cannot get through the week without the numbness of a needle, bottle, bowl, pill, or a host of other addictions.
As Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians:
Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.
-Ephesians 5:18
The only addiction fitting for a deacon is an addiction to the holy spirit.
Not greedy for dishonest gain. Similarly, elders are not to be lovers of money (3:3). In fact, this is true for all disciples of Jesus. As Jesus said,
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”
-Matthew 6:24
Loving money, being materialistic, pursuing luxury; these are antithetical to serving Jesus. Being deceitful to gain money, that’s even more disgusting; especially if a leader sees financial gain by stealing from gifts offered to God. For a deacon to serve, does it not require a generous spirit, a perpetual willingness to give, a selfless sincerity? A deacon must not be greedy for dishonest gain.
The next verse then aims at an absolutely critical, core qualification for deacons.
Read vs 9
Paul often refers to the gospel, and its many implications, as mysteries. Meaning, they were mysteries before they were fully revealed in Jesus Christ. Here’s just one example:
You can perceive my insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to the sons of men in other generations as it has now been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit. This mystery is that the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel. -Ephesians 2:4-6
Deacons must hold to the mystery of the faith – the gospel. With his own blood Jesus paid the price for your forgiveness and freedom, he died in your place, forsaken by the Father like you deserved. But in power he rose from the grave, defeating your death, defeating your fear, and victoriously offers you the same eternal life he has secured. Believe this, and you will be unshakable, overflowing with love for the God who loved you first. How can you not also love those for which our King died and desires to save?
If a deacon is leading well, exemplifying the qualifications of verse 8, people will inevitably come to that person with questions about life and ministry, looking to them for advice and comfort. If that deacon does not hold fast to the gospel, saturated in gospel truth, the people of the church are in danger. If a deacon does not love the gospel, applying it to all matters of life and ministry, he is not qualified to lead.
Initially, it can be very hard to know if someone holds fast to the gospel. Their addictions and greed can remain hidden for some time. If they are skilled at being double-tongued, it might not be evident on the surface. They need to be tested.
Read vs 10
Just as an elder cannot be a new convert (3:7), a deacon must be tested. The deacon cannot be a novice. They should not be allowed to lead a ministry if they have no experience with administration. Their reputation inside and outside of the church should be established and known. A rising leader should be observed for a while, their mettle proven, their character tested; as Paul says, until they prove themselves blameless. Only after a time of observation – or testing – should a person be allowed to take on the demands of a deacon.
Then, as Paul lists the qualifications of deacons, it seems like he takes a hard left turn.
Read vs 11
Why would Paul suddenly pivot to talk about the wives of deacons? He didn’t do that for elders. It seems strange. Well, this all comes down to a matter of translation. The Greek word “gyunē” can either be translated as “wives” or “women.” Likely, directly next to that word in verse 11, you’ll see this discrepancy noted.
I believe Paul is very clear that women cannot serve as elders. Some church traditions also say women are unable to serve as deacons. And if it is not already clear based on our church leadership, I believe the role of deacon is wide open for women. I think the ESV gets this verse wrong. Here’s the NIV.
In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. -1 Timothy 3:11 (NIV)
Both men and women can serve as deacons. I don’t want to assert this without justification. Let me give you four reasons why I think verse 11 should say “women” and not “wives.”
First, Paul says nothing about the qualifications of elder’s wives in the preceding section. It doesn’t make sense for deacon’s wives to suddenly need qualifications.
The second reason verse 11 is about women deacons is because of how closely the qualifications in verse 11 mirror those in verses 8-10. Paul is reiterating the same qualifications.
Women deacons (deaconesses) are to be dignified like the men. Deaconesses cannot be slanders – only a side-step from being double-tongued. They are to be sober-minded, not impulsive, distracted, or trivial: impossible to be sober-minded when one is drunk. Then, instead of listing the remaining qualifications he has already listed for the men, Paul simply says the women are to be faithful in all things.
The third reason I think Paul encourages qualified women to serve as deaconesses is because of Pheobe.
I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church at Cenchreae.
-Romans 16:1
That word servant, guess what else it can be translated as: deacon. That’s exactly how the NIV renders it.
I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon, of the church in Cenchreae.
-Romans 16:1 (NIV)
Again, I think the NIV gets it right. Paul is not simply saying Pheobe serves the church in Cenchreae. That could be said of any faithful member of the church. The whole sentence structure, the formality of Paul’s introduction, it all gives indication that Paul is saying Pheobe holds an official title, authorized by the church in Cenchreae: deaconess. Women can serve as deacons.
Fourth and finally, the reason I think 1 Timothy 3:11 should be women and not wives is because of church history. In the early centuries of the church – the Patristic Period – the only mention of women serving as elders or pastors are extreme outliers, they almost did not exist. Conversely, women served as deaconesses from the earliest times. Even the Council of Nicaea in 325 encouraged deaconesses. Church history points to a very early tradition of women serving as deacons – as if came from the Apostles themselves.
The women of Immanuel that have stepped up to serve as deaconesses have done a tremendous job of serving this church, our community, our world, and our King. And they do so in full accordance with the apostolic tradition. May God bless them and their work.
After addressing deaconesses, Paul returns to the men.
Read vs 12
Male deacons do not need to be married; but if they are, let it be to one woman. They are not to be polyamorous, polygamist, or in a relationship with a man. They are to love their wives and their children self-sacrificially, humbly, leading by example and with strong gospel convictions. If they do not love their family like this, how could they lead the church in acts of love?
They are to be skilled at managing their own household. Regardless of how valuable their belongings and property, what they have should be well kept – not cluttered and in constant disarray. Their finances are in good order. If they cannot keep their house in order, how will they order the ministries of God’s house?
How valuable when a man or woman is found who manages their house well and serves their family with authentic love, when their speech is sincere, they are self-controlled and self-sacrificial, dignified, and faithful in all things? If they have a heart for leading the church in service, their value is immense and their reward is great!
Read vs 13
If a person serves faithfully as a deacon, Paul says there are two rewards.
First, they will grow in standing. People will see their work and respect them for it. Very likely, it will lead to more ministry opportunities: for those who are faithful over little, to them will more be given (Matthew 25:21). It is very common for elders to have first served the church as deacons.
Second, faithful deacons gain great confidence in the faith. Pride, complacency, and doubt are all dangerous to the heart of a Christian. What a joy then to grow in assurance – that you’re doing a good job, that you’re pleasing to the Father, that you are valuable!
And none of this from a place of delusion or arrogance, but a confidence coming from faith in Jesus. If you know yourself, then you know that the only value you have is value given you from God, and not a value you have earned. If people grow in their respect for you, it is because they are seeing the image of Christ upon your life.
Deacons and deaconesses of Immanuel, growing in standing and confidence in the faith are two rewards of your service. But Paul is not suggesting that once you have tasted these rewards, your job is finished.
As commentator Robert Yarbrough writes,
“Deacons should serve aggressively and sacrificially, not for the sake of assurance (which, if they were successful, might tempt them to take their foot off the gas, so to speak), but to be equipped to continue to ramp up the level of their commitment and service. It is the difference between contentment with a plateau and fire in the belly to continue to be expended in Christ’s service.”1
In the beginning of this sermon series I said hard work is one of Paul’s themes. Deacons and deaconesses, you’ve been called to work hard for the kingdom, with your foot on the gas and a fire in your belly, for the glory of our King and the good of his church.
Brothers and sisters, it is a noble thing to aspire to be deacons and deaconesses. We need your help. Right now at least three of our Elders are doing double duty, serving as elders while also doing the work of deacons. And those that serve as deacons carry heavy loads. More helping hands are always welcome.
If you are not serving anywhere in the church, why? Church is not merely about being fed, it is about being a vital part of the body of Christ. Christ did not come to be served, but to serve. What about you? Are you here to serve, or to be served?
What should we know? A healthy church needs deacons, and it needs its deacons to be of outstanding character.
What should we believe? Faithful deacons and deaconesses are treasures given by Christ. Allow your heart to be filled with affection for them.
What should we do? Pray for your deacons and deaconesses and find ways to serve alongside them.
1Yarbrough, R. (2018). The Letters to Timothy and Titus. Pg 215. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.
