Honor Widows

1 Timothy 5:1-16

Immanuel – 11/16/25

          Pulpit swap with Pastor Paul Hussey of Utica City Church.

          How often do you think about widows: in your life and in this church? We have quite a few. The new church directory recently came out. (Grab it in the hall.) It doesn’t take a ton of investigation to learn who the widows are in our midst.

When we think about widows, let’s not just think of those whose husbands have died; also think of women whose husbands have abandoned them. Again, how often do you think about the widows in your life and in this church?

          Widows are constantly on God’s mind, and he promises to care for them.

          You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry.                     -Exodus 22:22-23

          Protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.       -Psalm 68:5

          Godly people are God-centered. God-centered people desire to see God’s will being done. Therefore, God’s people will care for widows, as Old and New Testament attest.

          Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.                                     -Isaiah 1:16-17

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

                                                                             -James 1:27

Widows often live lonely lives. They are not usually the driving force of the church, not in the center of all its activity. Those that live as shut-ins we rarely even see. In other words, widows are easily overlooked, forgotten, neglected. Yet widows are near to the heart of God, and caring for widows is a major way people express devotion to God. Loving God means loving widows.

          Our passage today, 1 Timothy 5:1-16, contains the longest teaching on caring for widows in the entire Bible. If honoring widows is a way we love God, then this is an incredibly important and practical passage for everyone in the church.

          But before Paul dives into his teaching on widows, he instructs Timothy how to care for a few other groups of people.

          Read vs 1-2

          The theme of this sermon series on 1 Timothy is “The Household of God.” The church is a household, and its members are a family. Paul wants this concept to remain at the forefront of Timothy’s mind as he pastors each individual person within the Ephesian church.

          When Timothy corrects older men, he is to use encouragement and exhortation rather than rebuke – like you would for your father. Let’s say your dad says something a little off color around your friends. You wouldn’t want to say, “Dad, don’t talk like that! You’re being rude and offensive, and you’ve embarrassed me.” Even if all that is true, it’s more respectful to pull dad aside and say something like, “Dad, I love you, but I really didn’t appreciate what you said. I know you have lots of wisdom, and can speak less sarcastically, could you just speak a little more carefully?”

          Paul wants Timothy to speak to older men like this, respectfully, not tearing down but building up, like you would with a father. Of course, if an older man – or anyone else – doesn’t receive correction through encouragement, you may need to be more blunt.

          The same principle applies to younger men in the church. They are like brothers. Work to build them up; correct through encouragement.

          In an ancient society that saw women as second class citizens, it must not be so in the church. Women, both young and old, are due the same love and respect men are due. Treat them as family members. Look to serve them, encourage them, honor them; do not tear them down or give them guilt trips.

          Paul adds for younger women, in all purity. In the same way sexuality doesn’t belong between brothers and sisters, it shouldn’t exist between Timothy and younger women in the church. Purity must be upheld in these relationships. Same with all brothers and sisters in God’s household, regardless of age. Romantic feelings may develop, and that that is ok (as verse 14 indicates); but it must follow the expectations of biblical purity.

The church is the family of God, and we should treat each other as such. Timothy, as pastor of the little Ephesian family, needs to hold this perspective continually. It is what Jesus taught.

          “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”    

-Matthew 12:48-50

          Look around the room: These are your brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers. Love them, care for them, honor them – as belonging to Christ.

          Yet there is a group among us that deserves special care and consideration.

          Read vs 3

          Since women were regarded as second class citizens in the Roman world, a widow often lacked the ability to support herself. For men, life expectancy in the Roman world was in the mid-50s. As always, women lived longer than men. The result: a lot of widows with no economic means. And based on what we’re reading in 1 Timothy, Ephesus had its fair share of poor widows.

          So much so, the Ephesian church had an official list of widows in their church (vs 9). When Paul talks about honoring widows, he’s referring to this official list. “Honor widows by placing them on the list to receive resources from the church.” But only true widows were to be placed on the list.

Were there false widows? There were not false widows. But there were widows who did not need the church’s financial support.

          Read vs 4-5

          Family should care for widows before the church needs to intervene. A widow’s children or grandchildren bear the responsibility. In her younger years she has raised her family, cared for them, and selflessly invested in them. Out of basic decency and common sense, the family she invested in should be the same family returning the investment as she ages.

          And as Paul says, this is a way for the widow’s family to learn godliness. Godliness is God-centeredness, and God loves it when families care for their aging parents and grandparents. Self-sacrificial care, giving without expecting return, upholding a person’s dignity; it is all pleasing in his sight. It is godly.

          So if a widow has family that cares for her, she is not eligible for the church’s official list of widows. But those widows who are left all alone, as verse 5 says, having no family, these are eligible for consideration.

          (As a caveat, these things are not meant to be followed like equations. If a family has abandoned a widow, doing nothing for her care, the church should absolutely step in.)

          But being all alone is only half the qualification needed to be enrolled on the church’s official list. We see in verse 5, the widow needs to be devoted to God and devoted to the mission of the church.

          When a person sets their hope on God, it means they believe. Apart from God, they know they are without hope. Such people understand their pride and selfishness earns for them brokenness now and everlasting death later. But they hope in Jesus, who lived a perfect life, died the death we deserve, and rose from the grave. Now, the Risen Savior offers forgiveness and life to anyone who hopes in him, anyone who trust in him enough to lay aside their old lives and take up the self-sacrificial, gospel-proclaiming, godly life Jesus modeled.

          If a widow is to be enrolled by the church, she must hold fast to this hope in God. She must also embody the mission of the church. Remember 2:1?

          I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people.                                                                      -1 Timothy 2:1

          Because God desires all people to be saved (2:4), the mission of the church begins by praying for all peoples. Though she is aged, and though she has been left all alone, the godly widow is not idle. Day and night she lifts up prayers and supplications. Far from becoming irrelevant in the kingdom of God, she wages the good warfare from her knees, sending a relentless barrage of prayer into the spiritual realm.

But if she is self-indulgent, she is immediately disqualified.

Read vs 6

A self-indulgent widow lives for herself, her pleasures, her comforts. Self-indulgence is the opposite of godliness. She neither loves God nor cares about the mission of the church. Her only mission is to live how she pleases: refusing God through shallow vapidity or stubborn pride. Timothy should not allow the church to use its resources on such a widow. Neither should we.

As one commentator writes, such people “‘forget the Lord, but when they are in need, they acknowledge the Lord, just as the pig ignores its owner when feeding, but when it is hungry it starts to squeal and falls silent after being fed again.’ The [godly] widow of vs. 5 thinks of little but the Lord; the godless widow of vs. 6 seeks fulfillment in earthly plenty.”¹

A godless widow is dead even while she lives; so is any person who chooses self-indulgence over God. Their life is a hollowed-out shell, an image bearer gutted of God’s image; and they have done this to themselves. If it is godlessness they desire, then God will give them their desire, casting them from his presence to the outer darkness – to hell.

Paul is clear, the church is not responsible to care for godless unbelievers. The church can help if we desire, but we are not responsible to care for unbelievers.

Read vs 7-8

          Paul commands Timothy to command these instructions regarding widows. Because Paul’s words are authoritative, I am also obligated to command these things. For when the church receives these commands, both the members of the church and the godly widows will be above reproach.

          Brothers and sisters, care for the widows in your family.

          Church, let’s care for widows without families, who are godly and prayerful.

          Because, astonishingly, the way we care for widows declares to the world that the kingdom of God is greater than the kingdoms of men. For widows are honored in the kingdom of God.

          But if we do not care for our relatives, we are worse than unbelievers. Even unbelievers understand basic decency and common sense, and they care for their relatives. If we in the church do not, we are worse than unbelievers. Should not our love, fueled by the grace of God, be greater than the love of the world?

          Notice how Paul chooses his language carefully. We are to care especially for members of our household. This means immediate family. But this is also about the household of God. We are to care for those in the church, our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, who do the will of God.

          Paul now returns to the enrollment of widows, and we get more qualifications.

          Read vs 9-10

          Since the church has limited resources, Paul gives Timothy some measurables to help the church discern which widows the church should prioritize with aid.

          Qualification 1: she should be 60 or older. Younger than this and Paul seems to think she still has vitality enough to support herself. Perhaps he also implies women under 60 are more likely to remarry – as he encourages in verse 14.

          Qualification 2: when the widow was married, she was married only to one man. The love and loyalty she had for her husband was obvious enough that people in the church would remember it. It is significant that the inverse of this is a qualification of elders and deacons – they must be husbands of one wife. Women are called to the same marital fidelity as men.

          Qualification 3: the widow must have a reputation for good works. James writes, faith without works is dead (James 2:17). Paul reinforces the same idea. Good deeds, or good works, are the fruit of a vibrant faith and a person who truly hopes in God. If there is no fruit, there is no root. If there are no good works, there is no faith.

          Paul then lists five examples of good works a widow may have demonstrated in her life.

          Fruit 1: She has brought up children. This is, of course, if she had children. If she did raise children, in a godly way, then her children are a testimony to her motherly love, self-sacrifice.

          Fruit 2: She has shown hospitality. Through the years her doors were open, and she did not hesitate to place more settings at the table. She welcomed church member and stranger the same. Just as Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners, she did not bar anyone from her home.

          Fruit 3: She has washed the feet of the saints. This is an idiom and should not be taken literally. Women are not expected to go around washing people’s feet. Rather, Paul means the widows served the church in humility and selflessness. Jesus washed the disciples’ feet as a symbol of how he laid down his rights, his own life, in an ultimate act of service. The faithful widow will have served the church in Christlike selflessness and humility.

          Fruit 4: She has cared for the afflicted. In a time when Christians were lower than second class citizens, she had concerned herself with the poor and persecuted, caring for and comforting them. The church knows the widow has always been warm and welcoming towards the destitute.

          Fruit 5: She has devoted herself to every good work. This is a catch-all phrase for the previous four fruits and all kinds of others. The widow has a reputation for good deeds, for godly works, even if her capacity is diminished in her old age.

Those were 5 examples of good works of a godly woman, fruits she bore long before she became a widow. Now, let’s remember all the qualifications needed for widows to receive the church’s care.

1.      She has no family that will support her.

2.      She is a Christian, hoping in God.

3.      She is devoted to the mission of the church through prayer.

4.      She is 60+.

5.      She was faithfully married to one man.

6.      She has a reputation for good works.

On the other hand, the church should not use its resources to support the needs of a younger widow.  

          Read vs 11-12

          Paul is not saying marriage is a problem. He recommends it rather, in verse 14. There is something going on in Ephesus we can only speculate about. In 4:3 we learned false teachers were forbidding marriage. Ephesus had a very promiscuous culture, and it seems the false teachers compelled church members to make oaths of celibacy, refusing to get married. Even if oaths were made in error, Scripture makes clear that oaths made before God are meant to be fulfilled.

          This idea makes sense when you realize the Greek used in verse 12 can also be translated as, condemnation for having abandoned their former oath.

          It’s speculation because Paul doesn’t spell it out, but it seems some of the younger widows made an oath of celibacy and then either through marriage or fornication, broke their oath. Oath breaking is a departure from Christ and a sin. Their sin is worthy of condemnation, though repentance and forgiveness is always available in Christ.

          Oath breaking wasn’t the only problem among younger widows.

          Read vs 13

          Young widows had learned to be idlers. Again, Paul is choosing words carefully. In 2:11 he exhorted women to diligently learn sound doctrine; but in these women were learning idleness. Idleness is laziness, living without purpose. The sins of idleness and self-indulgence are ugly cousins, and they do not belong to the household of God.

          Without purpose, without devoting themselves to praying, serving, and learning Scripture, these women devoted themselves to gossiping. They’ve become busybodies, meddling in the affairs of others, inserting themselves where they have no place being, feeding on drama and creating drama. They go from house to house, friend to friend, group to group, always carrying gossip and always seeking more to gossip about.

          Idle women, especially when they are younger, are prone to become gossips. And women who say what they should not say cannot be trusted (neither can male gossips).

          Read vs 14-15

          Getting married, bearing children. Far from misogynistic conceptions, Paul echoes the commands of creation: Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion (Genesis 1:28).

The creation mandate is impossible if women, younger widows included, do not get married and bear children. Our society has traded marriage and parenting for career and self-advancement, but family is at the center of God’s plan. Devoting yourself to family- whether man or woman- will fill your life with purpose and your heart with joy.

Younger widows are also to manage their household. This could be the household left to them or the household with a new family. Managing a household is not merely sweeping the floor and folding laundry. In Paul’s day it included parenting children, managing servants, and directing finances for trade and purchase. God told man and woman to have dominion; managing a household means ruling your dominion well.

          A younger widow who lives in God’s created purpose will loathe the idea of slipping into idleness – its true for any man or woman. But idleness, and the ugly sins that follow (gossiping, meddling) means abandoning God’s purpose. It is to stray after Satan. It is to reject godliness for self-indulgence. It is to risk falling into everlasting flame.

          Paul then switched to another scenario.

          Read vs 16

          Though social relief is a part of the church’s ministry, it is not the church’s primary purpose. The resources of a church will always be limited.

          Therefore, women of Immanuel, this verse is especially for you. Do you have any relatives that are widows – widows related by blood or widows related by faith? Both are a part of your household. Care for them. If you are able to care for widows, rather than see the church’s resources depleted, then you are the godly women of good works spoken of earlier in our passage.

          Men, this doesn’t exempt you. Widows in this church are your sisters and mothers in Christ. You must not neglect them, but encourage them, care for them, and honor them.

          What should we know? God cares for widows, and God-centered people care for widows.

What should we believe? The way we love widows declares to the world that the kingdom of God is greater than the kingdoms of men. For widows are honored in the kingdom of God.

What should we do? Honor the people in the church as your family. Pay special attention to caring for true widows.

¹Yarbrough, R. (2018). The Letters to Timothy and Titus. Pg 267. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.